Trust which is not founded on a willingness to assume the burdens of risk and vulnerability is not trust at all but merely calculation.   October 1973

    COMMENT:  [It just could be that the greatest obstacle to my growth in trust was thirteen years of Catholic education.

    I think of the fifties as the tail end of the Counter Reformation and the sixties as its more or less final dissolution. These two periods had the greatest impact on my character formation. These were also the periods when I think the Church was particularly rigid and self-assured, considered itself particularly in possession of all religious truth, and did not hold back modestly in assuring that we all needed to believe this.

    As a result, we Catholics had it good, for we thought and acted as though we pretty much had God wrapped around our fingers.  That is, we believed that certain actions on our part would have to result in certain actions on God’s part; that if we performed action “X,” God would have to respond with action “Y.”(I sense idiolatry somewhere in all of this but I won’t go there now.)   It was a rather formulary relationship we had and probably not always the healthiest. This arrangement was convenient to our psyches, left little to chance, and provided us with defenses that were more than well fortified.

    And even though it would be relatively frequent in the course of a Church year for us and our priests to comfortably shake our fingers of reproach at the two-thousand-year-old Pharisees, the Pharisees themselves likely were frequently laughing at us from their graves—and in a certain sense from within our own graves—for the worst hypocrites, it could be argued, were we.

    Things changed dramatically in this area as the Second Vatican Council of the sixties began having its impact in the seventies and especially since then. Yet still I struggle with trust.  rt]

    No photo at this time.