At the Same Time
You cannot feel included
or feel there is a specialness
that you alone bring to this life
or feel needed for who you are, not what you can do,
or feel forgiven
or feel someone’s arms around you in a moment of honesty
and need that are mutual:
you cannot feel
—really feel—
a single one of these
and at the same time hate, abuse, deceive,
fear the truth about yourself,
or wish you were dead or had never been born.
For it is as inevitable as night follows day
that affirmation in any form
destroys every manner of death wish
that ever escaped from the prisons of the human psyche.
February 1988