OVERCOMING

 

One of the most powerful forces ever to strike at the human family and separate its members one from another is the belief or suspicion that we might not really belong to it, that we might not be bona fide members of it, that full acceptance into Homo sapiens is dependent somehow on having a certain measure of worth which we do not have.

 

Estrangement:

We try in various ways to sidetrack this frightening thought, this unwelcome visitor, and we come to believe early on that what we do and say and possess and how we appear to others is somehow supposed to earn us that worth, give us that sense of belonging.

 

But the desire for greater worthiness is insatiable, the worthiness itself cannot be earned,  and our efforts to acquire it are futile and compromise our relationships, often to the point of obscuring, eroding, or even destroying them.  Unwit­tingly or without concern, our focus turns slowly away from our relationships, which are the cornerstone itself of human existence.

 

Toward the great enticers of our time we turn:  selfishness, deception, arrogance, the need to control, and near-frenzied accumulation of goods and attentions become our companions.  Some give up the struggle altogether and withdraw into the haven of self-imposed isolation.  Still others of us unconsciously seek our worth in a quasi-frantic serving of others, unaware of the threats of self-effacement which all too often weave their invisible threads deep within the fabric of our altruism.

 

As each of these seductions becomes more insidious and sanitized than the one before it—which it will—those cornerstone relationships become increasingly indiscernible parts of the masonry of our existence.  The more insistent our efforts to earn the feel of worth (no matter the means), the more accommodating becomes the painful malaise that develops as a result, until at last our feelings succumb to vagueness, conscience is mainly stilled or becomes so relative that it ends up flirting with self-destruction, and we come to accept the mere shell of the outer self as the essence of inner self.

 

And

the

restlessness

of

the

modern

age

comes

upon

us.

 

Rapprochement:

Two things are needed above all else in order to overcome this struggle to feel like we belong.

First, to set free our longing to know each other, which is an innate and extraordinarily strong desire. Set it free truly and completely, without fear or hesitation, much as couples newly in love do at the start, before the feel of love gets compromised.

Second, to reveal ourselves to each other as we are really, with simple candor and no deception or judgment.

 

Then will end the desire and the search for greater worth and all the doubts about belonging, because then these will have been exposed as frauds and as roads mis-taken.

 

Then will cease the separation of human beings.  For there in the self-revelation of each of us to the other—in that inner disrobing become mutual—you and I will have taken hold at last of the most solemn reality:  That before each other we stand equal and with each other we are one.  There are no degrees of worth because there are no degrees of worth. There is only complete equality of worth, one person equal to another, anyone equal to everyone—whether we are young or old; rich or poor; male or female; black, white, or other; gay, straight, or someplace in between; beautiful or ugly; Muslim or Jew or Christian or any other or no religion; famous or unknown; sharp or dull; leader or led.

 

And then we will have discovered

perhaps the greatest cause for celebration

to grace the human spirit

since the discovery of Creation as

Act of Will.

 

May 1989