CHOOSE LIFE!

Why do we abandon with such haunting frequency this fairytale-reality we call Cosmos, and in particular the Earth, which rests cradled in its embrace?  Why so often do we reject it, fail to notice it, or abuse it?

I think abandonment of the cosmos might have more to do with our struggles regarding self-worth, relationship, and courage than with just about anything else.

On the Origin and Nature of Self-Worth

On a purely natural level, our worth as human beings comes from nothing more and nothing less than the fact that we exist.  On a purely natural level, existence alone establishes our worth and is the bedrock on which it rests.

And that worth is inestimable; its value is great beyond measure.

For one cannot be integral part of a cosmos which is manifestly of supreme grandeur and at the same time be worth anything less than it is—much the same as the tiniest speck of new life  can be of no less value than the mother in whose sanctuary it dwells.

Yet we are integral part of the cosmos!  And this supreme grandeur can be verified by anyone and is made manifest to anyone who takes the time to observe and ponder our planet and the expanse of creation that lies in the endless vastness around it.

Considering ourselves specifically in the context of the whole of creation,

the entire universe—all planets and distant-most galaxies and all created matter—

in this context,

surrounded by the stupefying magnificence of this reality,

our very existence is the single most undeniable testimony to our worth.

No further justification or explanation need be given, either to verify or authenticate our worth.

We neither can nor need do anything to obtain such a prize, and it cannot be earned.

We need do nothing to hold on to it, for it cannot be lost.

And no one and nothing can take it away, not in life, not in death.

The gift is ours by birthright and is forever.

Struggles with Self-Worth and Relationship

Now while this being of worth beyond measure is not something that can be earned, many among us cannot comprehend or do not believe in the possibility of possessing a worth which we did not and can not earn. And while neither can this worth of ours be controlled, others of us are unwilling to surrender to or tolerate a self-worth that we cannot control.

We try in various ways to compensate for this frustrating state of affairs by striving for control or power or even oblivion in numberless, varied, and complex ways—

•           interminable efforts to accumulate money and goods;

•           abuse of others, including of their self-esteem;

•           ceaseless searching for notice and praise from others;

•           obsession with sex and matters sexual;

•           pursuit of distractions and other activities that cause time to pass and move us beyond the present discomfort without having to deal with it for the moment;

•           abuse of alcohol and drugs;

•           consciously or unconsciously allowing the development of personal problems (even health problems sometimes) that has the effect of drawing our attention away from the real problems of our lives;

•           amassment of titles and achievement lists which, in and of themselves, offer no proof whatsoever of worth.

Persisting in these and other types of misdirected efforts, and influenced profoundly by the negative impact they have on ourselves, others, and the planet, we unwittingly catapult any thought of genuine relationship into the darkest depth of inner abyss.

Struggles with Courage

And even though, as we face each new challenge in life, we could be drawing great courage from the gift of inestimableness that has been given us, most of us succumb instead to various forms of fear regarding it—

•           fear of not knowing how to receive such a gift;

•           fear of the cosmos itself and that it will swallow us up and abandon us to the darkness of the void;

•           fear to trust the relationships to which feelings of worth inevitably lead;

•           fear that our relationships or the gift of our worth might be only temporary;

•           fear of the gnawing feeling of guilt or of uneven accounts that often accompanies a gift received but not earned;

•           fear of the lifestyle changes that for most of us would be necessary in order to develop and sustain any credible friendship with the cosmos.

And so, because we remain in the grip of our fear

or refuse to give up control,

or insist on trying to earn our worth,

we become the source itself of our own frustrations and, in effect, end up both deserting that of which we are most a part—

the ever-awesome fusion of reality and fairy tale

that we call Cosmos

—and turning away from our very selves and each other.

This desertion of the cosmos, ourselves, and each other leads day after day to tragedy. Without much notice or resistance from us, an insidious web-work of darkness lowers its stranglehold upon the human heart.

Fleeing the cosmos and each other, we jump frantically into the arms of dream-filled nirvana lands of our own invention.

Toward the great enticers of our time we turn.

Into the open arms of self-destructive behavior we quicken our fall.

On flights of fancy we embark.  To new amusements we run, the latest trend, a fresh addiction, another partner.

And nirvana-fever’s fraud infects the planet.

Then, after awe only short-lived and deliverance only fleeting, that which seemed sweet relief betrays its promises. And we come to graze beside the Golden Calves of our imaginings, only to find—NEVER QUITE  O GOD!—the fairy tale authentic, the fairy tale authentic, the fairy tale authentic:

sweet cosmos here and now,

            and there within,

            amidst the stars,

            the who we are,

            revealed.

April 1988

Photo Credits Text: Talarico / Calligraphy: DuBosch / Photography: Bachhuber Note: This calligraphy was designed as a book, and only a random sampling of pages from it appears herein.

This is a stand-alone excerpt from the Choose Life reflection.